“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Ps 19:14
"So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman IS the adventure. But that is where the relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman doesn't want to be the adventure, she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself." --- Extract: 'Wild at Heart' - John Eldredge.
What is it about this thing? What is it that draws my gaze, my thoughts, my being? I’ve read and know that beauty nourishes, it invigorates, inspires, uplifts and sets fireworks in the imagination. Ohhh, the imagination… and this is where we’re at – or, where I'm at,
You see, the imagination…
Here’s an ironical thought; imagine a world where people didn’t have an imagination.
Could we live in a world like that?
Now take this; imagine a world without beauty.
Could anyone live in this kind of world? Think of everything that is not beautiful, and feel the corners of your mind shrivel, and the depths of soul shriek in agony.
Our senses cannot live without avenues such as these. We need the nourishment for this journey.
But, and here’s the thing, beauty has another side. Because we’re drawn to it so, and because our soul craves it, we can at times allow it to overwhelm. And it can consume, it can consume. It happens most with artists, when they search for the meaning, the depth of it, and they delve into it, exploring something we cannot understand. The risk is raised when Love steps in. Again, for the artist, love and passion is all entwined in it. And it seems and feels pure, when all these fine elements are interwoven within. But what happens when it’s projected, or when life’s happenings and emotions become entangled. It’s why when looking at famous artists in time we so often see their loved ones dragged down by these seemingly honest pursuits. It’s where we falter. Because deep down, when all these various glorious elements like love, beauty, passion and raw emotion are explored, we find that at the core is something quite fragile.
And if we really want to go there, if we really want to delve deep, we’ll find that that fragility is tied to everything in this world. It speaks to our very existence, and the world we live in. And this is where it becomes dangerous, because so often, it is unbalanced.
In this broken world, beauty was always bound to be abused, tormented and wrought under the talons of depravity as men try to control or capture this illusive something.
And how pure intent can get warped
Pity we have to grow old
Pity we have to lose our childhood innocence.
Naivety can be the saving of some,
and the death of others.
And so, when we shoehorn ourselves into an odd quest to preserve something pure and beautiful, we have to constantly guard ourselves.
Think about this; a man looks at a beautiful woman – and what does he think? What thoughts play in his mind? What are his secret thoughts, his secret desires? Sometimes its not that hard to see when witnessing their facial expressions just passing a woman on the street. A man can voyage to save something pure, but what if he were told that he was the very threat to that purity. Could he stay away
Some talk of a secret thought life.
If we could wear these thoughts on our bodies, what would we look like? And so, we can see how easily it is to pervert something pure…
As a writer, no, never mind that, I’ve always lived inside my mind. My father said I have an overactive imagination (which was one reason why I had nightmares as a child), but as an adult, it helps me create believable fantasy, or in most cases, believable fiction, or interweaving fiction with reality.
My mind is my strongest quality, and with that, potentially my greatest strength. When I explore something, driven by passion, my mind leans on the obsessive side of my personality, and here’s where the danger comes in, speaking of consuming. I’ve been told I would make a good detective, due to this very dog-with-a-bone type quality. But, the consuming comes into it when I take on pseudo problems that have no solutions, or when trying to understand and work people out.
People are our currency, our inspiration for story, our subjects, and when we don’t understand them…where are we to go?
And guess what? All those elements I mentioned earlier; love, passion, beauty – can all be found and explored in the brokenness and fragility of us,
This is the crux – we’re a simple fabric made with a complex thread.
It elicits ecstasy and pain all the same because all this grows from our soul. So when it feels like its deep, it’s because it is just that, it’s exactly that. People tend to undersell it, or take it for granted. That’s why sex is on the same level as shopping for shoes. Beauty or more specifically, sex (as sexiness) is used as a bartering tool to sell objects. Flesh is sold. People are sold… and whether overtly or covertly, people even sell themselves.
Reverence isn’t enough, or it’s sometimes too much.
When it comes to our secret thoughts, it’s invariably a question of balance.
So let me end on a note of hope, instead of a hope for the best but prepare for the worst, or a ‘where did everyone go wrong’ –
So, there is a way back, for me it’s through the Almighty, because if you cannot contribute-to/give/unveil/preserve/protect/nurture beauty, then at least just,
Let it be.
This is simply part and parcel of my endless quest for purity,
in God's eyes.
"Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul" - Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali
"Enemy-Occupied territory - that is what the world is." - C.S. Lewis