{A story in development - for writers, every story is in development, until they decide to abandon it... I haven't quite abandoned this one just yet. At the moment, its just a vent for an idea that's still brewing.} “Do me a favour.” It read. She set the paper down. She wasn’t quite ready for it. She turned off the TV, she saw enough of herself in editing. She strode out the kitchen and up the steps, then down the short corridor to one of the two upstairs rooms… her room. Or at least it used to be. She sat down on the bare single mattress, and then started reading again. “Look out the window at the sky. Whether nightly stars, clear blue, or laden clouds… curl your knees to your chest, and keep looking. Now look at yourself. Look at your legs, your hands, your feet… what do you see?” She glanced out the window. Then around the room and at the closed door, as if expecting someone to walk in even though the house was empty. She looked at herself, just as she’d read, running her hands over her legs and feet, then staring at the palms of her hands. “What do you see?” she read it again. “It’s you. Little you in a big world. I did that too you know. I thought to myself: how small I am. How small I am that you’d think of me. We are not giants in this world… although our spirits may be.” “I saw you walking up the lane at the back, outside. I also liked to do that. It’s because of that lane and the field that I bought the house. Even when it’s dry and brown in summer, I still go. There was a fire once, burnt half the hillside. Can’t remember how we put it out… All I remember is that people came out of nowhere to help. When they left, and I was standing on the stoop, sweating, tired, I remember thinking: ‘that wasn’t boring’. “I danced upstairs, alone, with no music, maybe even in your room. I was drinking so I don’t remember what room… probably wasn’t such a good idea – could’ve fallen down the stairs. I remember that I danced because my feet made a loud noise on the wooden floor boards. I always wanted to do it, somehow that time it just felt right. And so I tap danced; I think I was laughing as well, but I don’t know why, it wasn’t a normal laugh. “I write this to explain myself. You were younger, and I could’ve told you then but these things need time to, unravel. We were broken, both of us. I could not allow your mother’s death to intercept or delay your future. This place has taught me, that everything passes. I told you, and I’m sure you noted how small we are. Remember our trips to the beach. Remember how we watched the waves, how we fell asleep. And when we left the tide had claimed our footprints. There we saw, we saw something that has been for many years, centuries, so our visit to that shore was like our visit to this life… In my years I have seen what time does to the human body. I’ve seen how nature will reclaim everything – but we are not our bodies – we are simply driving them – for a short while. So, do not despair, for they are not meant to last. I write this also, to apologise. There is something I need to apologise for, and although I cannot for the life of me put my finger on it, I can sense its presence – that vague guilt of something I did or didn’t do. I am aware of the vacancies within our little tapestry of family life, but as you know, I’ve never been a good seamstress.” She chuckled to herself, remembering a time he’d called the ladder in her stockings ‘steps’. “I love you. I agreed to you leaving so forcefully because I wanted you out of the shadow that this house was in back then. Those are probably the times when people should remain close, but sometimes proximity has little bearing on the emotions. Sometimes you can live with someone, but also just pass them by day by day. It made the time we did spend together that much more precious. Thank you for not questioning my odd ways. I did not plan it this way; I too was once again a student… “I leave this house to you, and everything I own. You are strong woman, and I am a proud father.” She paused before reading the last line. “Be without hindrance.” She looked at the paper in her hands. Then she thought of that time when she looked at the house as they drove away, watching it grow smaller through the car window. She thought of the sum of material things which constituted her ‘life’, piled into that car. She thought of the goodbye with her father. Holding him, pressing the side of her face against his chest, her eyes closed, his hand on her head. She could not remember breaking the hug… in her memory, it never ended, even though she remembered him driving away in the old car, waving, and then looking at her in the rear view mirror. That picture of him through the back windscreen sat in her memory, just the back of his head over the headrest, through the window. She hugged her legs to her chest, resting her head on her knees, she closed her eyes. It wasn’t long after when she lay down, pulling a blanket over her. The house had always felt big, too big for the just the three of them, or the two of them... It didn’t feel that way now. The single bed upon which she lay, felt small and cramped. It had been years since she’d heard the creak of these bed springs. Her father seemed to see this place as a kind of unwanted anchor for her, a place that would hold her back. But lying there, with her eyes closed, she felt tethered for the first time in years. And it was a good feeling. He would've wanted her to sell it, but for her, this was her one secret place, one she needed, considering all her days chasing the truth. She took comfort in knowing that she knew how to hide from time to time. They say the truth will set you free, but for her, all the truth the world offered - she needed this escape, this truth. This was real. it may be a largely empty house, but her memories were not. [picture credits: digitalcameraworld.com-Gianluca Bennati, aso-geopark.jp, prettylittlenest.com]
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Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's soul The accompanying piece to ‘Wild at Heart’, this time John Eldredge teams up with his wife Stasi in the writing department in pursuit of the heart of a woman, in all her feminine beauty. "Even to see her walk across the room is a liberal education." Synopsis “Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far from child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart. The message of Captivating in this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. - What Wild at heart did for men, Captivating will do for women. Target Primarily women, some might say Christian women, but I believe women from any culture or religion can gather something from these pages. It is also a very handy read for men too, seeking to understand their woman, or just women in general a little more. In fact, most women that have read the book, implore men to read it too, just like women should read Wild at Heart. "She knew treachery' Bottom Line Admittedly, not being the direct intended target reader of this book, meant it took me a while to find a rhythm, a while to get going and find that groove you seek when reading any book (each one has their own). However, once I got into it, making the necessary readjustment, because as a man I’m reading this primarily as a learning exercise, I could then glean what I could and in some instances recognize where certain things could be applied to my own life. These are the type of books men want to read but seldom find the energy to do so, or perhaps they start but fail to finish it, so it is a small triumph that I managed it, though I’m not cracking any champagne bottles. This book tackles the issues of beauty and strength, and varying forms of such, as well as the modern woman and how her role, and the regard for her, has changed. But its more than that. It’s a wonder when looking at all the great stories of the world, that there are so few about heroic women (compared to men), though we know that were it not for women, those men would not have been around to achieve all those accomplishments, but is that it? Is that all women are for, to bring strong and courageous men into the world? NO! Of course not, the message is rather that in every story of greatness, women played an equally crucial role. If men be the reflection of God’s strength, then women are undoubtedly the reflection of God’s unparalleled beauty, in all its complex glory. "Beauty is Dangerous" [Image credits: nbcLatino.com, flickr, russianwomentruth.com, wallsave.com, "womens-league", "asian-women-hairstyles"] In fact, so beautiful was she, that the first man, Adam, actually chose her over God; but he would discover that nothing can compare, nothing can satisfy the hunger of his soul for what God is and has… that deep spiritual yearning we all carry – no material thing can satisfy a spiritual need. The two are separate yet can be connected; in that a man and a woman in marriage become one in spirit, but God always comes first, because he's the creator of ALL, he created both man and woman, and if we are to seek our purpose in life, we must look to the creator for guidance, not other creations... A large portion of this book is aimed at marriage and the relationship between the man and woman, but focussing on how the roots take shape to form a strong bond – that is to say how women deal with their lives before entering marriage (the same goes with guys) and even how to get the best out of their husbands (for those already married). This may all seem unromantic in approach, but I assure you, reading this, and other books like it, will only highlight how romantic God really is, and how much of heaven has been imprinted on this earth. There are lessons in this book that can be learnt and re-learnt as many have claimed, and I concur, that this is a book that can be read several times. We were meant to delight in the splendour of a woman’s beauty, their allure, their intricate mysticism and complicated nature… but the world (devoid of the Spirit) would and does abuse this. Women, who are meant to be man’s equal, are subject to exploitation and depravity, where beauty is a thing to be bartered and traded. Yet, as I’ve re-learnt here; beauty is alive, it is nurturing, and it is has the ability to grow, to enlighten, enliven and invigorate. How many men have gone to war for beauty, to show off their valour, even with humble intent? How many times has your spirits been lifted at the sight of something beautiful? Beauty can soften a hardened heart and break down barriers, but it can also awaken the primal beast in men, hungry with insatiable desire. Beauty has the ability to evoke strength in those who gaze upon it, and to instil resolve and life, even if that life is simply the basic quickening of the pulse. And, you know what, we need beauty. It’s in our DNA? What would the world look like without it? What would the world be like without the enchanting presence of a woman? "Beauty overwhelms us, enchants us, fascinates us, and calls us" We, as men, are drawn to beauty, because that’s what it does, it attracts, but as men, real men, our duty is to ensure that we avail our strength (and protection) and also ensure that it is always enabled to flourish, because if not, then beauty can also wither and grow dormant. This happens far too often, but there's still hope of that beauty being rekindled to return to its passionate freedom. In Wild at heart it was said that there are two kinds of women; one who is like the Caribbean, and the other like the North Atlantic Sea… but only one of them requires a real man. Captivating attempts to awaken what’s at the heart of every woman (but in the process also educates men as to their role to play). It may take things from a Christian vantage point, even criticizing the church for stunting and suppressing the role of women, but the principles can be applied universally. I highly recommend this bestseller, whether you're man, but especially if you're a woman! 4/5 "Show me your face,let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." You belong among the wildflowers You belong in a boat out at sea You belong with your love on your arm You belong somewhere you feel free - Tom Petty For my book review of "Wild at Heart", click HERE For a moment, let’s put the Israeli-Palestinian condition aside. (This is not to say we’re absolving anyone for human rights violations/atrocities and simple injustice and lack of human decency though, just taking a step back.) The lay of the land: So, here is this little sliver of a country, the only Jewish state in the Arab world – it truly is remarkable that they are still around when you think of the Arab and Islamic sentiment towards them. To put it in perspective; land mass wise, Israel makes up roughly 21 000 km2 – compare that to my home province in South Africa, the Western Cape, which is 129 000 km2. Let’s be honest, the vast majority of the Arab world wants Israel gone. Former Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad went so far as to call Israel’s existence “an insult to humanity” and quoted Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the leader of the Islamic revolution, saying “wipe Israel off the map” – or rather, alternatively translated, “that Israel would collapse”. This sentiment is nothing new… “Israel, a small country of less than eight million people, looks out at a world where leaders of much larger nations threaten to wipe it off of the map.” In 1935, when Hitler introduced the Nuremberg Racial laws, he reportedly received congratulatory telegrams from all corners of the Arab world. An Arabic translation of Mein Kampf found its way to Palestinians in East Jerusalem where it was reportedly a bestseller. So, in many ways its admirable that Israel has remained so steadfast in their beliefs, so unshakeable, because to them (and if you look at things from a Jewish perspective) Arabs are plainly the self-proclaimed enemy, and to withstand assaults and not buckle under international pressures is an indication of their unwavering resolve. Yes, atrocities to Palestinians have been committed, ill treatment of innocent civilians are still occurring today, but when considering the alternative – a one country solution – means to absorb the Palestinian-Arab population, along with their considerable extremist factions (within Hezbollah and Hamas to name two). Biblically this is the route to go – to overcome hate and evil with good, but I can’t help but imagine that if this route were taken, it would only hasten a civil war, which would then open the door for countries that share Iranian sentiment – Egypt, Syria… to come knocking. The global situation is made more interesting when you consider the US’s strained relations with Israel, the fact the Obama (US) and Putin (Russia) cannot come to terms regarding nuclear arms, that Russia is on good terms with the Arab world, as well as several Latin American countries, not to mention China. If all these countries are indeed aligned, in whatever capacity, it only further highlights the precarious position of that sliver of land called Israel. Arab Spring What of democracy? The dawn of the Arab spring has appeared to bring about a bright new age of democracy to many Arab nations, but will that necessarily change anything – will international sentiment and policy making be in any way altered? Since these are Arab states, I salute the idea that it opens the door to many changes to laws which promote discrimination and bringing about a greater equality, specifically regarding women. However, this then brings Sharia Law into light; Here is a short list of some of those laws: • Criticizing or denying any part of the Quran is punishable by death. • Criticizing or denying Muhammad is a prophet is punishable by death. • Criticizing or denying Allah, the moon god of Islam is punishable by death. • A Muslim who becomes a non-Muslim is punishable by death. • A non-Muslim who leads a Muslim away from Islam is punishable by death. • A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death. • A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old. • Girls' clitoris should be cut (per Muhammad's words in Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251). • A woman can have 1 husband, but a man can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more. • A man can unilaterally divorce his wife but a woman needs her husband's consent to divorce. • A man can beat his wife for insubordination. • Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman. • A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s). • A woman's testimony in court, allowed only in property cases, carries half the weight of a man's. • A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits. • A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval). • A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative. >>> of course the list goes on It comes together in a fascinating and somewhat disturbing melting pot, depending on whose side you’re on. And for the West, this is central to "the FEAR" experienced there - in addition to the stereotypical terrorism rhetoric. Biblical prophecy Let’s get even deeper here for a second, real deep. Since this is Israel we’re talking about, God’s beloved nation, let’s look at some of what the Bible tells us – because as mentioned on this blog earlier, see Bible Book Review, this book has proven its accuracy in 80% of predicted events (the other 20 is yet to occur, into the future). The Bible clearly states in 1 John 2:22 – that whoever denies Christ as the son of the living God, is the Antichrist. Logically, it is anyone who denounces Jesus as the son of God. Islam, and the Shariah Law advocates and are directly opposed to Jesus as being part of the holy trinity - despite many claiming that he shall return; how is he supposed to return if he was only a man, after so many years after his death, if his existence is NOT in some way divinely conceived? People following this train of thought plainly contradict themselves. “the cancerous tumor called Israel must be uprooted from the region.” “the goal is not the military destruction of the Jewish state but “the defeat of Zionist ideology and the dissolution of Israel through a ‘popular referendum.’” – Imam Khamenei (2000) [of course that is one man’s sentiments, albeit a very powerful man in Iran] Another issue which is often neglected in the media is the persecution and treatment of Jews and Christians in Arab states – I bring this up alongside the treatment of Palestinians by Israel, yet the latter state seems to get the most flack, why? And with that ‘why’ comes this ‘why’; why is all this relevant to me? Well, we do like to pretend that the world is a largely safe place and that the world leaders know what they’re doing – I mean we elected them, sort of. However, the world as we know it is very easy to put to an end. Only buttons need pressing, certain triggers need to be pulled to spark off World War III. Yes, I mention that, because it is unfortunately a stark reality, one we normal folk living our everyday lives, refuse to face, because it seems so far-fetched, money-making fodder for Hollywood movies. The truth is that things, countries, are a lot more closely related, the world is a much smaller place. A man can have a profound impact on the world from the relative comfort of his living room. You can see 360 degree streetview shots of places/houses/people’s backyard’s with simply a few taps on your laptop. It doesn’t take much to topple that first domino, so in some respects its admirable that we haven’t seen countries go war on the scale and cost of the two World Wars, for whatever reason. The truth we must face is that there is so much Hate out there, between cultures, people’s, countries. Some Arabs still target Jews because of their betrayal of Isa (Jesus). It speaks volumes that the very empire that killed Jesus Christ, then adopted Christianity as their official standard religion. Russia hasn’t dismantled any of its nuclear bombs (and has even developed some more) because its unhappy about the US building more bases (weapons) in Europe. These nuclear weapons number in the thousands… and in all this we haven’t even considered the might of China’s military power (who are also consistently on the side of Russia – furthermore, there’s the unpredictable North Korea to consider too. - French Second Lieutenant Alfred Joubaire wrote in his diary about WWI just before he died that “Humanity is mad! It must be mad to do what it is doing. What a massacre. What scenes of horror and carnage! I cannot find words to translate my impressions. Hell cannot be so terrible! Men are mad!” (1917) [best we remember these sentiments, to remind ourselves what we don’t want to happen ever again] So, when one looks at the world from this view (because it will inevitably go that route once you tackle foreign policy and relations), one might begin to see Israel a little differently. They’re not innocent by any means, but then again, who is; I’ll tell you: Switzerland! Strange how we are - people - carrying grudges; even though your neighbor has never wronged you, you hold animosity because of disagreements generations old - sometimes the root source of that animosity may be forgotten, but somehow the hate remains. For a look back at Part 1 of this article follow the link - An Objective look at Apartheid Israel Shining Lights and Smoke and Mirrors - Perhaps when the color came, along with the dollar signs, and the misplaced value of things… I was looking at old black and whites of Hollywood stars of yesteryear, from candids to set photos – it looked like, and was, an entire world away. Was it that the advent of color contributed to the gradual fading away of that world? Before, seeing images and films was like seeing something several degrees removed from reality. We see things in colour of course, so the B&W aspect was reserved for the stars (apart from your family photo albums – but even then, those were records of ‘special’ moments and occasions) – Hollywood was a special occasion unto itself – for all the rest of the us, it may as well have been permanently in Black and White – the world of celluloid existed within a special moment - they were those characters. (Allowing a moment for a special nod to that equally marvelous Technicolor decades of the 60’s and early 70’s) Nowadays, we look for the broken, the incomplete hero, the tormented soul, the dirt behind the velvet curtain, the drugs in the drawer, the running mascara… it’s all about the real (and the advent of reality TV), when celebrities are portrayed as just people, as they always have been, flawed. Of course Hollywood has long been known as the place of lights and shattered dreams, but that’s not why I wrote this. I want to know if there’s a suitable compromise. At best we’re treated to rare occurrences where a modern film can transcend era’s to offer something that would succeed anywhere and still hold true to that sense of mystery, prestige and allure that was the bread and butter of ‘old Hollywood’. We can talk about art and life, integrity and business, and how one side of the industry needs the other to survive, and how the audience will watch what they’re given, or whatever the hype machine spews out… the talk of blockbuster tent-pole productions and that Hollywood is no longer so much a community as it once was, the exclusive hallowed league it once was (or was thought to be) – can that element ever be replicated? In today’s tinsel industry, money is the currency, where talent once was (or at the very least it was more of a narrower contest). We’re desensitized, to the extent that now people seem to want the wool to be pulled back over their eyes, because gritty realism just isn’t real enough, because once Hollywood finds a formula (and makes it a cliché), it will grind it out till every morsel is had. It’s the ‘golden woman’ – that complex that promises everything and brings you so far, but still only ‘so far’, always keeping that last little something out of your reach, because as an audience, we can never be satisfied. I am in a position to look upon those old images with nostalgia because I have the benefit of hindsight – looking at a past I was never a part of and can never be… so it will always seem that much more romantic and appealing, or was it just that appealing? Of course it could’ve been made to look so because the world was a different place, with World Wars, dark and unknown patches remained in the world, no internet… and the media was a different animal too, sort of… but the stars still carried a natural air of class and whimsy though. So, with surrounds made up mostly of dark things, the glamour, appeal and shine of that old-school tinsel, was made that much more brighter, stars glinting – because the world wanted the mystery, because everyday reality was often not such a great dwelling place. Shining lights and Smoke and mirrors – it’s what the world needed back then… and maybe, probably, it’s what the industry- the world – needs right now, again, even if we ignore the dust on the lights, the fire causing the smoke, and the cracks in the old mirrors. "I'm not interested in money, I just want to be wonderful." - Marilyn Monroe Perhaps its wishful thinking in hoping we can get some of that essence back, considering that the central totem to what made ‘old Hollywood’ so endearing, was the warped innocence of those stars, themselves struggling to come to terms with fame, shoved into the limelight and experiencing the two edged sword of a thing called celebrity - the virgin superstar. You’re not a mega star, until the people make you one. I suppose we'll always hope, and we'll always have... Such things were not meant to last,perhaps, for if they did, we would not hold them in such high regard - (one cannot have caviar, everyday, forever...) *** {article/letter/retrospective by Steven Benjamin... Images from easyart.com, unless otherwise stated} |
[Banner illustration by Joel Kanar]
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