Poem: 'When the sand hits the wood' -Soul and the sand- by Steven Benjamin * When music fades with faltering voices through blurred vision When the grip slackens on the cold metal and feet stumble around on the wet soil When the breath stutters - words fail What remains abide Grasping the dimness What remains is time a slow beat A stare A wave The falling and - hammering grains The shaking breath With trembling hands The grip The failing heart The quiet tears When the sand hits the wood When the soul unfastens its hold The remains pour Prying open the hands of time Falling between its fingers To let loose another *
0 Comments
Yes, you’ve heard this line from a Maya Angelou poem… I was thinking about time, and how it doesn’t apply to dreams And if you know me, then you know by now that at some point my thoughts will always turn toward God . . . in this instance, the inventor of time. It’s awkward to think of life outside and apart from time, but to think about it, our dreams are like glimpses into this world. I look at my dog who is growling and barking in his sleep, his whole body is moving… so even animals can dream, or maybe just dogs. One time his leg twitched, so maybe he was chasing a cat in his dream. Since man’s infancy we have wondered about this thing, why we have it, or where it comes from, and if it has a deeper purpose and meaning. I could tell you that it’s a remnant of our forsaken spirituality, as we plunged into this moment of time called life. That it’s a fragrance or a hint of something more than the physical, of a place beyond the natural, a place without time. But we’re free to choose or imagine for ourselves, to attach our own meanings. I realise though, that this taste of a timeless place, is an entity often taken for granted, left unexplored or forgotten, relegated to superstition and fantasy… a playground for your subconscious imaginative power, nut nothing more. But contemplating our existence and the concept of an immortal soul and awakened spirit, the dream becomes more relevant, makes more sense if we are actually spiritual beings living in these temporary skins. But just like the dreams themselves, which waft in and out of our lives, so too do these deep thoughts, pushed aside by the natural world, by the reality we make before us. This world of endless distraction. Perhaps this is the duty of those like myself, as we’re given license to tentatively reach out to these realms outside of time, because we’re naturally seeking more than what we see, recognising that there appears to be something behind or above this natural world… We chose to turn from the eternal and embrace the temporal, because the immediacy of the things around us placed a great power within our fleshly hands; ruled by our senses, we mould our future with our own works. We chose to rule our lives, instead of submitting to something spiritual. But in turning to our own devices, forsaking the spiritual, we bowed to time, and with that, we too would become like dreams – the very thing that haunts us now, as we lowered ourselves, our lives, to slip in And eventually out Of time. For without the spiritual eternal, we placed our heads in the jaws of time, of age and decay And in our passing, if we continue to place highest value in the pursuit of things governed and hunted by the clock, then our destiny is tied to the forgotten dream, Forever lost. * We only occupy a space in time. --- Photo: [Václav Chochola: 'Night Walker' - self-portrait standing in the night city. He put his camera on a tripod and left quite a long exposure and he stood near this street lamp. Eventually he went back and closed the shutter.. "Every picture may show more than I want to say.."] [Image credits: Nadya Lukic photography, Vaclav Chochola self portrait, meetville.com]
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Ps 19:14 "So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman IS the adventure. But that is where the relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman doesn't want to be the adventure, she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself." --- Extract: 'Wild at Heart' - John Eldredge. Secret thoughts on Beauty What is it about this thing? What is it that draws my gaze, my thoughts, my being? I’ve read and know that beauty nourishes, it invigorates, inspires, uplifts and sets fireworks in the imagination. Ohhh, the imagination… and this is where we’re at – or, where I'm at, You see, the imagination… Here’s an ironical thought; imagine a world where people didn’t have an imagination. Could we live in a world like that? Now take this; imagine a world without beauty. Could anyone live in this kind of world? Think of everything that is not beautiful, and feel the corners of your mind shrivel, and the depths of soul shriek in agony. Our senses cannot live without avenues such as these. We need the nourishment for this journey. But, and here’s the thing, beauty has another side. Because we’re drawn to it so, and because our soul craves it, we can at times allow it to overwhelm. And it can consume, it can consume. It happens most with artists, when they search for the meaning, the depth of it, and they delve into it, exploring something we cannot understand. The risk is raised when Love steps in. Again, for the artist, love and passion is all entwined in it. And it seems and feels pure, when all these fine elements are interwoven within. But what happens when it’s projected, or when life’s happenings and emotions become entangled. It’s why when looking at famous artists in time we so often see their loved ones dragged down by these seemingly honest pursuits. It’s where we falter. Because deep down, when all these various glorious elements like love, beauty, passion and raw emotion are explored, we find that at the core is something quite fragile. And if we really want to go there, if we really want to delve deep, we’ll find that that fragility is tied to everything in this world. It speaks to our very existence, and the world we live in. And this is where it becomes dangerous, because so often, it is unbalanced. In this broken world, beauty was always bound to be abused, tormented and wrought under the talons of depravity as men try to control or capture this illusive something. And how pure intent can get warped Pity we have to grow old Pity we have to lose our childhood innocence. Naivety can be the saving of some, and the death of others. And so, when we shoehorn ourselves into an odd quest to preserve something pure and beautiful, we have to constantly guard ourselves. Think about this; a man looks at a beautiful woman – and what does he think? What thoughts play in his mind? What are his secret thoughts, his secret desires? Sometimes its not that hard to see when witnessing their facial expressions just passing a woman on the street. A man can voyage to save something pure, but what if he were told that he was the very threat to that purity. Could he stay away Some talk of a secret thought life. If we could wear these thoughts on our bodies, what would we look like? And so, we can see how easily it is to pervert something pure… As a writer, no, never mind that, I’ve always lived inside my mind. My father said I have an overactive imagination (which was one reason why I had nightmares as a child), but as an adult, it helps me create believable fantasy, or in most cases, believable fiction, or interweaving fiction with reality. My mind is my strongest quality, and with that, potentially my greatest strength. When I explore something, driven by passion, my mind leans on the obsessive side of my personality, and here’s where the danger comes in, speaking of consuming. I’ve been told I would make a good detective, due to this very dog-with-a-bone type quality. But, the consuming comes into it when I take on pseudo problems that have no solutions, or when trying to understand and work people out. People are our currency, our inspiration for story, our subjects, and when we don’t understand them…where are we to go? And guess what? All those elements I mentioned earlier; love, passion, beauty – can all be found and explored in the brokenness and fragility of us, People. This is the crux – we’re a simple fabric made with a complex thread. It elicits ecstasy and pain all the same because all this grows from our soul. So when it feels like its deep, it’s because it is just that, it’s exactly that. People tend to undersell it, or take it for granted. That’s why sex is on the same level as shopping for shoes. Beauty or more specifically, sex (as sexiness) is used as a bartering tool to sell objects. Flesh is sold. People are sold… and whether overtly or covertly, people even sell themselves. Reverence isn’t enough, or it’s sometimes too much. When it comes to our secret thoughts, it’s invariably a question of balance. So let me end on a note of hope, instead of a hope for the best but prepare for the worst, or a ‘where did everyone go wrong’ – So, there is a way back, for me it’s through the Almighty, because if you cannot contribute-to/give/unveil/preserve/protect/nurture beauty, then at least just, Let it be. The torment in our souls is due to the lack or failure in searching for something that cannot be found in this world. If you're wondering where all this is coming from, well, we preach only that which we ourselves need to learn. As a man and as a writer, I constantly seek to understand, and when something riles at my core, it falls under my microscope, specifically and intensely. Beauty is otherworldly, but to truly appreciate it, we must focus and grow closer to the creator of that beauty, lest we fall and find ourselves settling for inferior pleasures, or idolizing earthly things. It's where it all started, with pride and betrayal in the garden of Eden, and the struggle within man continues to this day. This is simply part and parcel of my endless quest for purity, in God's eyes. "Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul" - Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali [Images: via pinterest.com] Are we talking literary or literally? Well, I read an article on the importance of writing and storytelling, and the author recalled a time when he was a paramedic… so no, we cannot literally save lives, as in resuscitate a person with words (literally), but we can save lives in other ways. It may seem like a simple realization but it’s one we need to remind ourselves of every so often. Looking at news reports of plane crashes and the military assault on Gaza - what can writing do - those people are dead? But writing can communicate the truth and inform those still living. Educate the present so the future doesn't reflect the past. Then there is also the nobility and catharsis, of just telling their stories. I was talking to a friend of mine recently, and she was sharing her recent trials and quite frankly, life threatening ordeals working with (reforming) drug dealers and gangsters – and her blunt reply about writing when I mentioned to her that it can’t save lives, was simply: “but it can”. One day I will write her story… And I'm sure it will reach out to someone in a dire situation in need of motivation through their struggles, even if it’s just that one person. On a more basic level, how does education work, how do we learn – through books, through writing, communication – without these simple elements - like textbooks, how many lives would’ve been lost? How did the medical profession come about? Someone had to be the pioneer, to analyse the human body and record their findings. Corpses were involved, and would not have been pretty, or perhaps even legal, but in that, in some way, the dead served to preserve the living... hows that for a story? So, I encountered this issue because I am a true believer – a believer in stories, writing and storytelling, and because I’m tired of the mediocre and the dilution and saturation of art. To further put this in context, I’ve been wrestling with an article on story, and the essential organs of it as it applies to a very popular TV series – and thence the temptation to dismiss it all and banish it to the box of “it’s just a TV show/it’s just a movie” – because this is what modern films, especially, have taught us with their lack of quality storytelling.
And so, we’re meant to sift through the dregs, to locate the stories we’re allowed to make a fuss over because there’s a place for the serious stuff, and a place for things like superheroes. Because we’re allowed to take fantasy series’ or books seriously, but not cartoons… Where do you draw the line, because there IS a line? Believe it or not, words are life – language, communication – words feed souls. We are on this journey and yet do not understand how there is a link between health (physical, spiritual and mental) and the power of words. What we see, and hear affects the way we feel, how we act and perceive things. We shall all die one day, and there is plenty of depression, misery and depravity in this world – and you may find that often some will not offer any solutions to the problems we’re facing, but will merely explore the problems further, holding up mirrors to it. I feel that part of being a writer is to feed the soul and in some way provide a light or a way point in the journey of discovering the meaning of this thing called life – for those curios about it – and stories are one such medium of discovering those morsels of meaning, so that regardless of your existential beliefs, it is not all for naught. Stories. They’re the beating heart and simultaneous nerve-center of us writers. They’re in and apart of us just as much as they abound everywhere. The plain truth is, our brains crave stories... "Classical story design charts the vast interconnectedness of life from the obvious to the impenetrable, from the intimate to the epic, from individual identity to the international infosphere. It lays bare the network of chain-linked causalities that when understood, give life meaning.” "In storytelling, the stimulus of words brings about the production of inner images, an extraordinarily creative play involving the entire brain. Each new story requires a whole new set of neural connections and reorganizations of visual activity within - a major challenge for the brain. . . . So neural potential goes unrealized and development is impaired - unless storytelling and play are provided on a regular basis." [Images: via pinterest, unless otherwise stated] Related posts: Why I write What will Matter The Flaw in Game of Thrones Category: Writing "Human beings devised writing to explore why we are here..." A unique creation. From what we know, there is no such thing as gender in heaven, even though all angels mentioned in the Bible are male – in heaven there is no need for different sexes because there’s no procreation. So when God made Eve he capped off his creation by delivering to the world a different side of himself, and bestowing man with the ‘mimicking’ creating ability, to bear children. Angels were made by God, and so was the first man (Adam), but every son and daughter of Adam (a son of God) thereafter would then be referred to as ‘son of man’ and ‘daughter of man’, born into this world. Procreation as we know it is unique to this world, and thence so is woman. It says a great deal doesn’t it? Man was created in God’s image, but in women he endowed some of his more intricate and complex characteristics (still in his image). He instilled more of his raw beauty. I like the description that draws from the design of a rib (when God took Adam’s rib – this is also the first wound spoken of in the Bible – and there is no mention of pain or scars; the healing was instantaneous because it was divinely imposed). It says that women are equally strong (protecting the man’s heart) and fragile/delicate – the bone will break first to protect what's on the inside - the heart. What also makes more sense is why Satan (serpent) approached Eve first - before Eve, God and Adam had spent time together. He created her last - She is God’s crowning creation. This does put a few other things into perspective as well – because just as Satan first targeted Eve, he also targeted all her daughters as well. Why is there so much gender inequality? Why are women such a prime commodity in the sex industry, or human trafficking? Since the fall of man, God’s crowning creation has found herself under increased focus from the devil. She is his number one target. In essence when analysing history in this context, its easy to see that Satan has launched a personal war on women. It's why they are wrongly referred to (by many men) as the ‘weaker’ sex and why in many cultures of the world, there seems to be this want to literally cover or ‘hide’ women from public life. Man at his worst sees women (or all people) simply as lumps of flesh to be bartered and exploited; as sub-human… to be owned, to have dominion over. Now think of a strong woman, and what she is capable of. Think of how every good man has a strong woman at his side; and If women are ‘taken down’, then men will be too. “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist” – this may be a popular movie quote (The Usual Suspects), but it remains a general quote that rings very true (Rev 12:9 – the deceiver). What many people are often guilty of (after acknowledging God) is underestimating the power of Satan and his role in this world/our lives. From this we can also surmise that the devil is indeed intelligent and cunning by his use of stealth, and this world is his playground of sin. So the prime target he chooses, is your mind… of course acknowledging his presence is a battle even in itself, but once you do, you then have to decide what to make of that knowledge, and whether or not you’re willing to engage with him (in conflict). This is a battle you cannot fight, and win, without Jesus. This is the world we live in. God created many beautiful things, gracing this world with his beauty, wrapping a different side of himself in the female form – illustrating his strength embedded in some of his softer more vulnerable and complex forms within this poem of creation called Woman. So it makes sense that Satan would take this unique creation and make it the focus of his war on mankind – to take down the crown jewel of creation - the bearer of life. Women “replaced” Lucifer, in a sense, as God’s most beautiful creation: “‘You were the seal of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. 13 You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: carnelian, chrysolite and emerald, topaz, onyx and jasper, lapis lazuli, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. 14 You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. 15 You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. 16 Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones. 17 Your heart became proud on account of your beauty,” God describing Satan – it completely opposes the devil with horns and a pitch fork portrayed in the media. “…and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor.” [Ezekiel 28:12-16] From here we see the tussle of beauty. I’ve mentioned before on this blog that beauty is fascinating and multi dimensional – can we imagine a world without it? How it nurtures and uplifts, possesses the ability to manipulate, in good ways and bad. It beguiles and captivates and reveals another breathtaking side of God. And yet, this is only the natural world. To delve into the spiritual is indeed frightening and not something our human minds were made to comprehend – our human eyes would not be able to handle such a simple thing as the blinding light that comes from heavenly beings in all their splendour. That is why when reading the Bible – taking Ezekiel and his visions for instance, I interpret it in the sense that though he often attaches earthly symbolism to heavenly beings – wings of an eagle, the face of a man, the face of a lion… he’s simply quantifying his visions in a way that he/we could understand (as I read once, can you imagine how frightened Ezekiel was at this point). So likening his visions to animals he was simply grasping the various characteristics of what he saw. For instance the Bible has a number of different descriptions of Lucifer, but each of them merely alludes to his characteristics and the various shapes he takes on in the natural world – a serpentine-like nature, but then later Jesus describes him as a prowling and roaring Lion looking to devour (1 Peter 5). I, like any man, am fascinated by women, and started writing this in an attempt at capturing or understanding something more whilst it also extended a theme that I've have over the past weeks on this blog regarding women. Perhaps it was also inspired by something Pastor Joseph Prince mentioned in his sermon I posted on the ‘Real story of Noah’, regarding the Bible making no mention of female angels. But, as I found out, as I explored the creation of woman, it delved deeper and further back into the supernatural realm and thence returned to modern earthly times bringing things into context and perspective. I hope it enlightened you as it did me. Sometimes we already have the knowledge before us, but its simply the way we arrange it that may allow us to see something new and fresh… "There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." "Pleasure is to a woman what the sun is to the flower: if moderately enjoyed, it beautifies, it refreshes, and it improves; if immoderately, it withers, deteriorates, and destroys. But the duties of domestic life, exercised as they must be in retirement, and calling forth all the sensibilities of the female, are perhaps as necessary to the full development of her charms, as the shade and the shower are to the rose, confirming its beauty, and increasing its fragrance." "Daughters of the attitude that produced them, certain women will not appeal to us without the double bed in which we find peace by their side, while others, to be caressed with a more secret intention, require leaves blown by the wind, water rippling in the dark, things as light and fleeting as they are." [Image Credits: flickr.com, tumblr.com, pinterest, lecontainer.blogspot.com, 500px.com, fashiongonerogue.com, liekerromeijn.nl, republicofyou.com.au, everythingfab.com] "All is possible to woman, for woman alone may make herself impossible." Related posts: 'Captivating: Unveiling the mystery of a women's soul' - Book Review Bible - Book Review God's message to women Beauty & the Bullets, guns & war Ugly Beautiful --- Artist Feature --- "For me, what I do is about giving birth to an idea. I become obsessive about my ideas. I dream them; they live inside of me. But to be able to stay true to your vision until the bitter end? That's success – there's nothing higher than that." Her eyes light up. "Everything else is just bullshit." It’s been a while since I’ve done an artist feature, so, taking a break from politics and shifting gears but not toning down the mood at all that has been permeating on this blog. So here's an infusion of music; we all need it, even if we don’t know it. Lykke Li (pronounced Lick-E-Lee for those wondering) is synonymous with a variety of instrumental work and her wispy, oft sombre, retro, child-like vocals. She’s been described as being “sweetly melancholic”. Born to self professed hippy parents (a musician father and photographer mother) she says that although she was born in Sweden, she traveled so much that she doesn’t identify with the country of her birth. By the time she skipped out at 19 yrs old and go to NY to pursue a singing career, her family were living in Morocco. So, she’s Swedish without being Swedish… Personally I can’t place why I’m a fan of hers, but I suppose if I must say, then it has something to do with that trademark nostalgia to her sound. It speaks of things past – what we can never get back again, and this is evidenced within some of the song titles – ‘I Never Learn’, ‘Just Like a Dream’ and ‘Never gonna Love Again’. I was only introduced to her late (comparatively) via her second studio album ‘Wounded Rhymes’. The first song I heard was ‘Rich Kids Blues’ and the landmark ‘I follow Rivers’ which had an arguably longer life span thanks to the many dance remixes around (most notably by that of DJ ‘The Magician’). I like the fact that she’s somewhat stand-offish with both her music and her fans, perhaps its just me being a writer, but even though we know a lot of facts about Lykke Li, she still retains an enigmatic air. Otherwise, I just find her paradoxically refreshing. She says touring often pains her, where she was once even diagnosed with PTSD, because in reality, she’s an introvert, so becoming a pop star was probably not the best thing for her, health wise. Coming Soon: Her latest Album 'I Never Learn' (see cover art below) makes its world debut on 5 May. Lykke Li: [Image Credits: prefixmag.com, discodemon.net, facebook.com/lykkeli, followfrisby.files.wordpress.com, studiotota.com, wikipedia.com, ilistenbecauseican.wordpress.com, pastemagazine.com, wanttickets.com] “It's not a very sane thing to try to be great all the time. You want to make something magical; you want to make something wonderful; you want to give to everybody; you want to heal people; you want to still be inspired. That's not easy.” "Discovering the secret of a man's soul." This is NOT something that can be done by reading ONE book, but it's a journey of discovery to be traveled and learned over a lifetime. John Eldredge though, goes some way in attempting to figure out what really makes men tick, and what is at our core. Although there are inconsistencies, and he does take liberties with scripture and context, he still manages to hit the mark, going some way in setting those foundations (or re-setting them) of a real man. Synopsis What happens to our boyhood dreams "beating the bad guys... and rescuing the damsel in distress"? John Eldredge looks to highlight the plight of the modern christian man, sitting in the church pews, bored. Wild at heart invites men to rediscover the true passion at the heart of God, simultaneously inviting women to learn the true secret of a man's soul. Target All men who consider themselves real men, should read this. It's not so much about being the tough guy, but it is about discovering true masculinity. So those men who are after God's own heart, if you wish to understand yourself, and him, a bit better, this book sure helps. Bottom Line So yes, I did question some of the context of a few scriptures, which I won't go into here - the lesson there though is: whenever you hear someone, or read a quoted scripture, be sure to check the Bible to confirm the context and how that scripture is being applied, as apposed to how it is being used. That aside (it comprises just a few niggles here and there), the greater message is not lost, far from it: the message of how a christian man should go about discovering what he is made of and what is at his core. I've always known, or ever since my father taught me, that to find the purpose of a creation, one should check with the inventor, the creator... in this instance, the creation is us, and the creator - GOD. So, to find our purpose we should by rights inquire with... But there's much more to this book, which strikes at the reason's for why men have strayed from masculinity, what is required of us in the modern world. It looks at the role of our fathers and the deep set wounds we all bear. "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight" "The trajedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives." I agree with Eldredge when he says that there's something wrong with society (above and beyond all the other problems with it), that men are required less and less, what with the advent of the 'metrosexual', 'getting in touch with your feminine side' et al. not to mention the lack of honorable father figures in society. Somewhere along the line, the need for masculinity has dwindled, and we as men of God, need to reclaim it. I recommend this book for the simple reason that it has got a relevant message and that inevitably, you will glean something useful from it. Whether it's that you actually learn something new, or are reminded of a truth you already knew - there's something here for every man, christian or not - and of course, women should read it too, to gain a better understanding of your man, or the man you desire, and how you can be part of a journey of adventure... to play a crucial role in an epic story (This is not bashing the 'independent woman' - but attempts to explain why there is this complex, due to the lack of respect for women - it's all related. Note: There's another book by Eldridge and his wife Stacy called 'Captivating - Unveiling the mystery of a women's soul' which I'm currently reading). By my reckoning, if Elderedge's intent is to draw men (any and all) closer to God and aid them in realizing their purpose and living the life God wants them to lead, then despite the niggles, I believe he succeeds. This book certainly found me at the right time as it answered some questions that have been sitting on my heart! God Bless. |
[Banner illustration by Joel Kanar]
WRITING
|